do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i love accidental penises.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
