If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
