I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
operation harelip BJ is a go
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
COCAINE IS GR8
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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