how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
