I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Is Oprah even human
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
