who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
