It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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