my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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