Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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