You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
