I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
