Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
