i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
