that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
