I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
