She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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