the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
