You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
