I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
