The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
