i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
