your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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