Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
