Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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