yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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