I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
