Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
