I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
