i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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