What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
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