I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
