Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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