wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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