I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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