apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
