Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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