If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
