i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
