So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
