all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
