Just mADE A PArabola og urine
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
