this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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