At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
