is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
