Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
