the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
