Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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