We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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