I CAN MOONWALK!
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
