WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
