Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
oh god the rape fog is back!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
