Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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