Just cropdusted the office
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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