no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
