Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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